The family Thanksgiving dinner ritual in this country has some regional variations, but there some basic rules that we all must follow. For example, the "food carousel," where all the food trays are kept in constant circulation around table, usually for an hour or so, and no eating is allowed until the mashed potatoes and gravy cool to room temperature.

A decade ago, this East Coast woman celebrated a Minnesota Thanksgiving with my then future husband, and was astounded to observe another holiday ritual--ice-fishing. I had viewed the Walter Mathau and Jack Lemmon roles in "Grumpy Old Men" as fiction. The movie was an understatement of fact.

The frozen Minnesota lakes were teeming with men cutting holes in the ice and dressed in various animal skins that made Mathau's movie wardrobe look like a Gentlemen's Quarterly fashion shoot. Huge multi-ton SUVs and trucks were parked next to each other on one-quarter inch of ice, next to ice houses that sported satellite antenna and three-car garages!

But I digress.

As the Chinese transferred gunpowder technology to the Europeans, so I introduced into this alien culture a Cranberry Relish (recipe below) that my husband, who refers to himself as a Northern Minnesota "Jack Pine savage," absolutely loves.

A second pioneering concept I brought to my husband was the necessity of owning a food processor. If you have ever inventoried the kitchen equipment of the average male, it looks something like: 12 beer can openers, 7 mismatched plastic cups and glasses with sports logos, a Swiss Army knife and paper plates.

In preparation for the Thanksgiving trip to Minnesota, I called my to-be husband and told him to get a food processor so that I could chop some of ingredients for the Thanksgiving dinner. His response was something like, "It's not necessary, I can chop the stuff with my axe."

Thanksgiving day food preparation went quite well, except for the two hours required for my husband to "finely chop" 4 cups of cranberries using various bladed instruments. One hour of this preparation time was spent corralling the free-range cranberries as they rolled across the floor.

On my next visit I found, in his kitchen, a new five-horsepower food processor, capable of liquefying an adult moose in a few seconds.

Cranberry Relish

4 cups (1 pound) fresh or frozen cranberries
1 large orange, quartered & seeded
1 lemon, quartered & seeded
1 1/2 cups sugar or Splenda
1-teaspoon cinnamon
1/2-teaspoon cloves

Wash cranberries, drain and remove any stems. Place cranberries, orange, and lemon into a food processor with metal blade and pulse on and off until ingredients are finely chopped.

Add sugar, cinnamon, and cloves to cranberry mixture, and mix thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Serves 12

Note: This relish will last months in your refrigerator.