A monthly column for people who share their homes with four-legged friends.

While most of you may be unaware of it, I'm a celebrity. I've kept it under wraps for a little while now, but I cannot stand by for one more moment watching other celebrities get all of the attention. I, too, was on a reality show.

It's still playing on the Hound network (arch rival -- Fox). The canine community follows Hound almost as closely as Animal Planet, but the people community just hasn't discovered it quite yet. There are lots of great shows on the network, including Paw and Order, This Old Doghouse, and The Chew Night Show. My show, however, is the best. It's so good, in fact, that another network copied us.

The show is called Pawject Runway. The premise is that I, along with 11 other competing canine designers, create apparel based on various challenges. Professional models (all paper-thin Whippets) wear our designs on the runway. Talented (but catty) judges rate our work. One dog is eliminated in each episode. Winners receive fabulous prizes, including the opportunity to design something for Banana RePUPlic's winter line. The overall winner receives enough seed money, magazine coverage, and industry support that he or she could become the next Ruff Lauren. I won't go into detail about every challenge, but I will summarize a few of them.

First, we had to design something out of materials we found in a grocery store. I chose organic dog biscuits and made a gorgeous coat. Unfortunately, the starving Whippets nearly consumed the entire coat before it got to the runway. Fortunately, the judges thought the minimalist approach was edgy. Next, we had to design a bathing suit. I took a huge risk and decided to break all the rules by designing nothing. I called it the Birthday Suit Bathing Suit. The judges loved my creativity and daring. Yet another challenge required us to redesign a postal worker's outfit. As you can imagine, this was a distracting task at best for a group of dogs. I'm embarrassed to say that I lost during this episode because I couldn't control the urge to bite the model when she was wearing the uniform.

I was destined to lose from the start, however, because I was up against an extremely gifted designer named Wendy Pawper. She's also from Middleburg, so I'm not too upset that she was better than I was. Anyway, it's all okay now. I've been selected to star in next season's Fur Factor.

Albert, a Jack Russell Terrier, is Chairman of the Board of Wylie Wagg, a shop for dogs, cats, and their people, in Middleburg.