Let us consider some definitions:

cel·lu·lite Function: noun Etymology: lumpy fat found in the thighs, hips, and buttocks of some women, and,

bi·ki·ni Function: noun Etymology: a woman's scanty two-piece bathing suit

Cellulite is arguably nature's most stable compound: insoluble in everything but concentrated sulfuric acid and removable only by an industrial model Hoover vacuum with a special, rather invasive attachment.

Erma Bombeck once mused, "I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."

There is a mere three months before we women must stand in front of a mirror and deal with the above conundrum. We women could incite a rebirth of the Victorian-era swimsuit craze, in which our "allure" would be judged only by our exposed ankles. Consider the newsstand sales of the "Swimsuit" edition!

So we are doomed to diets patterned after that of an emaciated Hunt Country rabbit.

However, there is hope--an edible salad container! Consult your favorite diet book. I guarantee that the author never explicitly lectured against eating the salad plate.

The easy recipe below is for Parmesan salad baskets. They are an elegant way to serve salad and also satisfy you low-carb South Beaches.

[Recipe for Parmesan Baskets included]