Reality arrives quickly when young people are suddenly faced with the loss of a friend or family member. Every parent struggles to put the loss in perspective and to incorporate the loss into a context of the complexities and unexpected occurrences that combine to complete everyone's life.

Many parents have learned to rely on ten simple tips to help their grieving teens according to Kristi Guadagnoli, PysD and Licensed Clinical Psychologist at Mindworks.

They include:

• Offer your child an "open door" to talk about their thoughts and feelings regarding the loss.

• Parents can model healthy grieving by discussing their own feelings and expressing emotions.

• Be a good listener by asking questions such as: What was that like? How did that feel?

• Validate their feelings using reflecting statements like "of course you are sad."

• Normalize their feelings as there is no "correct" way to grieve.

• Allow them to talk with their friends and others who experienced the loss as much as possible.

• Encourage self care and stress management activities (exercise, rest, social activity, listening to music, meditation).

• Encourage activity like journaling which allows the teen to express feelings in writing or drawing.

• Encourage a family or community activity that allows the teen to memorialize the deceased (planting a tree, fund raising, scrap book).

• Be aware of signs of unhealthy grieving which may include poor sleep habits, loss of appetite, decline in academic performance, increased risk taking and drug use, suicidal ideation, preoccupation with death, and excessive sadness; if these occur please contact a mental health professional for an evaluation immediately.

To reach Mindworks Clinical Psychology, telephone 703 378 7998.