September 6, 2007, is less than one month away. It is, in fact, mere weeks away, two weeks from Thursday, and with it comes rebirth, renewal and reaffirmation of all that is right with the world.

Michael Vick and Tim Donaghy will be temporarily pushed to the back of the sports section. Major League Baseball's playoff race, really just getting interesting, will be momentarily forgotten. Wars in faraway lands, financial crises here at home, and political games of the pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey will all briefly fade away.

For on Thursday, September 6, 2007, the NFL will return and all will be right with the world, at least through the first week's Sunday when every Monday-morning-quarterback across the land will begin second-guessing his or her team and asking the football gods "Why? WHY?! WHY?!?!?! are the [your team's name here] so feeble / lame / terrible / ineffective / overrated / etc."

I love it.

In the interest of fair play and being a good sport, I've used an elaborately complex and convoluted formula to determine what, exactly, the hometown team's record will look like at the end of Year IV, SCOG (Second Coming of Gibbs.) I'm ready to stick out my neck in the name of good fun, charity, and the priceless opportunity to say I told you so.

So, without further ado, the season that will be…

Week one will see the Burgundy and Gold start things off on the right foot, pounding on the hapless Miami Dolphins to go a commanding 1-0 on the season. Newborn baby boys across the region will be named Jason in record numbers, in honor of the 'Skins quarterback, and fans will start inquiring about how to get playoff tickets.

Week two will be far gloomier, as the 'Skins will venture north to Philly for a Monday night game and get resoundingly smacked around by one of the two preeminent teams in the division. The only thing that will keep the game vaguely respectable will be Gregg Williams' retooled, refocused defense.

In week three Washington will bounce back at home against the Giants, without a doubt one of the most bipolar teams in the entire league. This particular week, I see the Redskins catching the Giants in the midst of one of the many emotional meltdowns they'll experience throughout the season.

Week four is a bye, so a record of 2-1 will probably earn the Burgundy and Gold some extra time off. This will be the key week of the season, believe it or not. All my prognostications for the rest of the season are based on nobody on the team doing anything egregiously stupid, like getting arrested or hurt or anything else, during this two-week span. If someone does, all bets are off.

Week five should be a gimme against a much-improved but still awful Detroit Lions team. The defense will score at least two touchdowns and the offense will score at least three. This game will be the highpoint of the season.

Week six will see the Redskins freezing their tookases off at frozen Lambeau Field in Green Bay. Freak early season storms will dump snow in record amounts and the 'Skins will be glad get out without any serious cases of frostbite.

Week seven should be a win at home against Arizona, but Matt Leinart and the rest of Cardinal nation may just have a few nasty surprises up their sleeves. Keep an eye on this game.

Week eight is a dreadfully complete loss to a vastly superior Patriots team in Foxboro. That's gonna be one quiet locker room after this game, you watch.

Week nine is a win at the New York Jets, a Cinderella last year, a post-strike-of-midnight country pumpkin this year.

Weeks ten and eleven are both losses, in the division, the first at home to the Eagles, completing the season sweep, and the second at Big D to the dreaded Cowboys and Wade "What, me worry?" Phillips.

Weeks twelve and thirteen are wins in Tampa Bay and at home against Buffalo. By that point, the 'Skins defense will be such a well-oiled machine that Jon Gruden will need all five quarterbacks he still has on his roster just to finish the game and London Fletcher will hardly be able to contain his enthusiasm as he blows up his former Bills teammates one after another.

Weeks fourteen and fifteen, though, prove Washington's final undoing as they falter and lose close, must-win games to Chicago at home and the Giants on the road.

They'll bounce back in Minnesota in week sixteen, rekindling just enough hope to make the season-ending loss to the Cowboys, at home, in week seventeen all that more heartbreaking.

And that'll be it, another much ballyhooed season of opportunity and potential fizzling to an 8-8 finish. I could be wrong. But I could be right.

Either way, water's still wet, the world's still spinning and I still love football.

Take it to the bank.