Alex Rodriguez got caught on camera being fed popcorn by one Cameron Diaz during the Super Bowl earlier this month. According to reports, A-Rod, who was sitting in stadium and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' suite at the time, pitched a fit that Fox would so rudely plaster the footage of his PDA across millions of television screens across the country.

Dude.

If I somehow got my hands on footage of Cameron Diaz feeding me popcorn, I'd play it like a theme song, like a formal announcement every time I entered a room.

If I somehow got hold of footage of Cameron Diaz feeding me anything, I'd make it my mission to ensure those precious seconds of digital imagery became more instantly recognizable than the Zapruder film.

A-Rod wants it stricken from the record.

Me, I'd want it playing on a loop at my funeral.

And then on a little screen set into the ground next to my tombstone.

To combat all the negative babes-feed-me-snacks-while-I'm-watching-football coverage, the Yankees let everyone know A-Rod reported to spring training after having dropped his body fat from 12.5 percent to 9 percent in the offseason.

He's also, according to reports, "leaner" and "more flexible."

Good for him. That's almost as awesome as watching the Super Bowl, Nero-style.

Cripes.

Speaking of baseball, Phillies shortstop Jimmie Rollins recently predicted the boys from the city of brotherly love will win 100 games this coming season.

Which is a bold prediction coming from a guy whose team used the off-season to put together what should be the best starting rotation since the Braves of 1993. That team was led by Greg Maddux and his 20 wins and 2.36 ERA. Tom Glavine, John Smoltz and Steve Avery pitched in with another 45 wins between them and Smoltz's 3.62 ERA was the most unsightly of the bunch.

So yeah, I'd say the Phillies should win 100 games. If a team led by Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels somehow managed not to win at least 100 games I'd say that was a lot more interesting.

When did the Phillies become the Yankees of the National League anyway? Seriously? It used to be you had to have a real good reason to root against them, like being a Mets fan. Now it's just sort of a no-brainer.

Funny you mention the Mets.... The continued blowback from the Bernie Madoff scandal has most recently centered on the ownership group of New York's "other" baseball team. Irving Piccard, the trustee for Madoff's Ponzi scheme victims, has filed a $1 billion suit against Fred Wilpon and Mets ownership alleging they knew of Madoff's scheme and actively conned other investors into turning money over to Madoff. Wilpon and Sterling Equities partner Saul Katz's primary defense seems to be based on the premise that they were just as ignorant of the nefarious behavior that was going on right in front of them as everyone else.

Which, if you're a Mets fan, is entirely plausible.

The good news for ownership reached a high-water mark just the other day when Madoff, from prison, confirmed their claims of innocence. According to Madoff, the Wilpons "knew nothing" about what was going on.

Which is great.

If you like having Wall Street's version of Benedict Arnold sitting in your corner come trial-time.

The good news, if you're a Mets fan, is that the Wilpons have started looking around for minority investors to purchase up to 25 percent of the team. Donald Trump is the person who's most recently been bandied about as a potential investor.

Which could come in handy.

Especially if somebody had to be fired.

I'd pay to watch that.

And I'd pay double if Ms. Diaz wanted to keep me nourished while I watched.

Alex can be reached at cuda24@yahoo.com