It's February. It's freezing cold. Outdoor activities are generally halted and cabin fever is a daily ailment. But February also is home to Valentine's Day when the romantic world pulses and swoons despite frosty temperatures. February is no stranger to releasing a good romantic movie, but there are many eras and genres of cinematic cheese from which to choose.

This year, I predict there are going to be record-breaking box-office sales to see Fifty Shades of Grey and multiple peppy steps in and out of the theaters. Movie theaters across the country will surely be steaming from the big-screen explosion of the mainstream, borderline pornographic, naughty-but-nice novel about romance, amongst other things and depending on the critic.

Does The Notebook float your boat? Or anything else by Nicholas Sparks because the themes never seem to vary too much. Though having seen it countless times, of course I tear up at the sickeningly sweet yet predictable plot. I think either Noah or Lon would be a total catch and there would be many women willing to pick up Allie's sloppy seconds. You know, if it were real life.

Unfaithful and Fatal Attraction both have incredible scenes of passionate, physical love, but admirers beware. Adventures in stalking and cheating lead to murder and boiling rabbits. No one ever wins in those situations, despite the heat.

Titanic—love on the rocks. Nothing says forever like seeing your true love sink to the bottom of the abyss. And who in the h-e double toothpicks throws a gazillion dollar necklace into the ocean? Certainly makes me question the line "I'll never let go".

Then there are the movies where love has a dollar sign attached. Both Pretty Woman and Can't Buy Me Love display a monetary exchange for feigned affection, though only one is an actual prostitute. I don't think being bribed by the lawn boy is an illegal act, but money changed hands nonetheless. Both had happy endings for adult fairy tales. In one they drive off into the sunset in a limo; the other, on a riding mower.

Love Actually, though technically a Christmas movie, is all about love, actually. But in one scene, there are sentiments delivered on cardboard that are unforgettable in the hopeless love way. "With any luck, by next year I'll be going out with one of these girls... [Pictures of models]... But for now let me say, ...without hope or agenda, ...just because it's Christmas...(and at Christmas you tell the truth)...to me, you are perfect ...and my wasted heart will love you...until you look like this... [picture of the mummy]". Come to think of it, this is very similar to the Bridget Jones' Diary line "I like you just as you are." Go Brits for keepin' it real.

And perhaps the most quotable love movie ever for Generation X is from The Princess Bride. I personally have been to more than one wedding where the "true love" speech was given at the altar. Because of course, for a guy, the right answer will always be "as you wish."

For what it's worth, sweets shaped like hearts, if given with love, are always off the diet.

Live and love Middleburg.
Sincerely, Me