As a lifelong horsewoman, I surprisingly did my first dressage test at a national-level breed show just a few years ago. It was at Introductory Level. So basically: walk, trot, outside inside, inside outside, circle, circle, halt, or something similar and straightforward. I had to have my trainer "call" out the test just in case I got lost or forgot the pattern (good grief, I can't believe I just admitted that). When I finished and exited the ring, my trainer said, "Brandy, why were you riding in the fetal position"? I laughed it off a bit because, in my mind, I nailed it and was looking for applause and admirers seeking my autograph as a budding dressage star. The scores were posted, and upon comparing them with my other three competitors, I knew I had won the class with the lowest score. As the announcer plugged in, I started planning my acceptance speech when my number was not the first one called. Nor the second or third. I wasn't first. I was last. I learned the hard way that in Eventing Dressage, riders strive for a low score when in pure Dressage, as in the class I participated in, a high score is better. The judges comments also referred to riding in the fetal position, and I would get a much better ride if I took hold of the reins, rolled my shoulders back, and sat up. My trainer said something similar but bonked me in the back of my helmet and used a few F-bombs. I may or may not have cried.

My dressage debut in the fetal position was driven by fear and insecurity as instructions were called aloud to curate every move as I poorly posted up my horse's neck. At present, I find myself back in the ring, on a horse, and learning how to make circles again while friends support me from the sidelines. Sometimes the most challenging lessons start in the fetal position but evolve into the most beautiful ride if you pick up your reins, roll your shoulders back and sit up.

This ain't about riding, friends. It's about keep on keeping on. Don't think you can, know you can.