In another life, I traveled extensively in Ireland in the horse industry. From 1997 through 2004, I made several trips a year, generally for weeks at a time. It was the best of times.

Before the EU, many motorways were built, so traveling the country was like being on Snickersville Turnpike in a stick shift tuna can. You had to commonly back up and pull over to oncoming traffic, and the country was much more agricultural than today. It was dreamy, and I feel fortunate to have memories of "the way it was."

My favorite place was a tiny pub called Fagan's outside of Moynalvey in Co. Meath. It was the "local" to our dear friends, and everyone knew everyone, and there was rarely a "yank" to cross the threshold in 1997. Picture this: a small building with a pot-bellied stove and the back seats of cars as guest seating. You could cut the air from the smoke and no matter how cold it was, Fagan's was always warm inside with plenty of laughter and cheer.

Farmers pulled up to Fagan's for a pint in their tractors (some could be seen sleeping off in the cab in the mornings). Kids rode ponies up to get crisps. Teens could buy fags for their parents without question if their parents smoked. The barkeep would deny minors of non-smoking parents by saying, "Jaysus Albert, git outta here before I call your mam." It was so authentically Ireland.

The locals knew that if you had to use the toilet, you went out back and peed around the torney bush. There were both men's and women's water closets indoors yet, why did everyone go outside? I found an answer one night, and the lesson has always stuck with me.

You see, Fagan's got fined by the authorities for not having proper urinals and toilets for their guests. So the owners put a urinal and a toilet in their designated areas. Again I ask, why then go outside? Well, because the authorities didn't say anything about plumbing.

So what are the lessons here? Don't make assumptions. Always give accurate instructions for your desired result. Do what the locals do. And mind the thorny bush.