People often ask questions about training, and while I'm no expert, I'm happy to offer my views from the canine perspective. Lately I've been hearing about a lot of people who do all of the right things with all of the wrong results. This has puzzled me because, frankly, dogs are pretty smart and we generally want to please. It left me wondering what could possibly be going wrong. I decided to look into the matter further. What I found is so simple and yet it is one of the most common problems in households with pets.

People everywhere carry out their relationships with their pets with the very best intentions. I'm talking about kind, loving people who train with a gentle hand using positive reinforcement methods. These are people who seek the help of excellent trainers, read the best books and take the time to put their dog on the right track. And yet things just don't work out.

The simple flaw in the plan: lack of consistency.

The failure to be consistent can undermine the very best training techniques. While animals are outstanding at understanding far more than people know, we can't comprehend seemingly random changes in expectations. We're not able to figure out why it's okay to get on the sofa normally, but not when our people have guests. We're mystified by why it is perfectly fine to be rambunctious with the kids but not with the elderly next-door neighbor. We can't know that our slight misbehavior is much more annoying when our people have had a rough day at the office. In short, most of us can learn how to act, but we can't learn to change how we act based on the situation.

To become consistent, people need to get committed to the idea. There should be certain constants with pets that never, ever change. If the house rule is not to feed your dog from the table, that rule should never be broken. If it happens once, your dog will assume that it can happen again. Likewise, all rules have to remain constant. This means they have to be reinforced by every single member of the family, even young children.

The formula for success is to decide what's important and make a big deal out of it to your dog and your family. If, for instance, you don't want your dog to jump up and greet people, you have to teach everyone to discourage this behavior at all times – even visitors. Pretty soon, your dog will get the hint. If, however, one person enforces the rule while another person allows air-born greetings, there will be trouble in paradise. Give us an inch and you can bet we'll take a mile, not because we're mischievous, but because we're confused.

In reality, the biggest hindrance to consistency is the fact that people love their pets and often give in to them. Because we're so cute, it's easy to reward begging "just this once" or to laugh instead of correct. In reality, though, being big-hearted often makes it harder for the pet in the long run.

Now, I know that being consistent can be really difficult when people live such busy lives. It's hard, if not impossible, to watch everything that happens. Making an effort, however, can really pay off. I should know. I live with a softy and get away with murder. Supposedly, she's working on it. I'm not worried, though; I've got great big puppy-dog eyes. Can I have some of that peanut-butter sandwich mom … just this once?