Instant communication via digital devices has resulted in an explosion of social networking opportunities. Given global access via texting, numerous "Apps" and the fact that computers have become an integral part of education, parents are faced with the challenge of educating their children about balance and self-regulation in order to experience life in person as well as online.

This is why Jane Bishop, who chairs the Education and School Life Committee at the Hill School, suggested getting in a specialist. On February 23 and 24, Dr. Michelle Parker brought her expertise as a clinical (child) psychologist and middle school counselor and former teacher at Sidwell Friends School to Middleburg.

Dr. Parker's philosophies on parenting and education align with the goals and the mission of the Hill School, which opened both presentations as a public service to the community and to teachers and parents from other schools. On Sunday evening, more than 100 adults attended Dr. Parker's slide show and talk about "Parenting in the Digital Age." On Monday morning, she spoke to the adults about "Managing your Child's Time for Healthy Brain Development."

"From the technological standpoint, many parents feel as if they are one step behind their children," said Bishop. "We wanted someone to point out strategies for guiding our children through the constantly changing digital environment and how to teach them to be good digital citizens. We want technology to enhance our children's educational opportunities while developing their ability for critical thinking and problem-solving through actual experiences. This is key to their success and resilience as adults."

Digital technology is here to stay. Everyone must learn to live in a balanced way with this technology. Children have always required able parenting, even more essential now that they are growing up in both the real and digital worlds.

"Balance is the key to reap the rewards, but be aware that too much of a good thing can also be bad," stated Parker, a parent herself and well aware of what it's like living with nimble-thumbed texting offspring. "The role of the parent is to help children to internalize the parents' voice of reason, which supports good judgment and moral development."

The statistics of youth, 8-18, using technology boggle the mind: 2,899 texts per month, for example, and the 2010 survey revealed that 87% of all teens sleep with their smart phones so that they can respond to texts around the clock. Parker's solution: get the smart-phones, computers, iPads, etc out of their bedrooms at night and consider making it a rule that all digital devices may be used in only one central location of your home.

"Computers can be useful for social development when used properly and setting limits is not about prohibitions, but helping your children to learn to self-regulate," Parker said. "Safety first. Be an active parent and establish good dialogue with your child. Educate yourself about their digital world – have them teach you. Remember that kids feel safe when parents have their backs and set limits and boundaries. Explain and teach techno-manners."

Parker's upper school assembly for grades 5-8 took the form of a lively discussion that engaged all the students about how they find the internet useful for their academics, what they like about social media and how they can use it in a responsible manner. Her advice: "Think before you click."

"Dr. Parker encouraged our students to think about both the benefits and the pitfalls of technology and to consider how to make healthy and safe choices," said Hunt Lyman, Hill School Academic Dean (K-8) and teacher. "It is particularly important for them to think about their digital footprints and how to communicate on-line clearly and kindly. Personally, I appreciated how Dr. Parker presented her advice on technology in the context of understanding both child development and brain growth."

Dr. Parker's powerpoint, which includes links to sites about best practices and specific Apps, is available through the Hill School: www.thehillschool.org