"We did great today man!" Greg said excitedly.

I opened my eyes and picked up mug of beer

"Yeah we did, he loved it!" We clinked our mugs together in celebration and both took enormous gulps.

"Too bad we couldn't get him to try it, that would've been crazy cool!"

"Yeah, I think he was a little thrown off when I got that headache, and came up with that lame "Out of time" excuse." We both laughed.

"But, for real Chase, you good? You've been acting weird lately and, no offense but you look super tired."

"Yeah I'm good," I said, but it was a lie, I had been having intense migraines for some time, and it fell like each day they were just getting worse. Add not getting any real sleep to that and you get a pretty volatile concoction. There was also this subtle but constant ringing in my ears that I could feel slowly driving me insane.

"So what is the next step for the project?" Greg asked moving the conversation along.

"More testing I suppose, it'll just be tough to find willing candidates. I mean I would be willing to go again."

"Okay if you say so man!" Greg laughed, "I'm lucky you're so willing, I don't know if I would want to run through it twice in a week!"

"Yeah" I gave a little chuckle, and half smile. It's good he didn't know the real reason I wanted to test again. I needed to go back again, I needed to remember what happened. I missed her so much…

We left the bar about 30 minutes later and headed off to our respective apartments. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my face to get ready for bed. As I was drying I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I realized now why Greg asked if I was okay, I had huge bags under my eyes, and they were completely blood-shot. I knew why I looked like that, it was these dreams. They were so vivid, so real, and it felt like I would still be awake as it all happened. I needed a break from them tonight. I rummaged through the drawer by my sink for anything drug that would help me get through at least one night. I saw Tylenol, Advil, Ibuprofen, and then finally what I was looking for. Temazepam, the sleep medication I was prescribed before, back when it was all still fresh, right after it happened. I popped 2 pills, and sipped the water straight from the faucet. I took one last look in the mirror and went to bed. I looked up at my ceiling. After 5 minutes I could see the corners of my vision darkening, the middle becoming cloudy, and my lids heavy, I took one last deep breath and closed my eyes to sleep.

Someone jumping onto the couch next to me woke me up.

"Come on party pooper," Stephanie said laughing and shaking me, "be happy! This is our housewarming party! Well, I guess apartment warming, but also our 8th anniversary!"

She was right. All of our friends were here, mingling, enjoying themselves. I should be too! I was lucky enough to have her with me and love me so unconditionally.

"You're right babe, I'm sorry," I gave her a kiss and we both got up from the couch. I still stood on the fringe of the crowd but always close enough to make Stephanie happy. She was bouncing from person to person, adding to their conversations, making them laugh. She was so amazing. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail that bounced back and forth as she moved around the room. We locked eyes for a second, she stuck out her tongue, and smiled, I laughed. In that moment I knew, I was going to marry this girl. Last week I had bought the ring. It was sitting in my sock drawer waiting to be presented. Tomorrow I would call our favorite restaurant to make a reservation. She would probably just think it was in celebration of 8 years, but it would be so much more.

As I continued to drift into thought someone shouted "Who wants to do shots!?" Everyone else cheered.

It was ridiculous. We were a group of about 15 people in their late 20s about to do shots as if we were still in college. Stephanie, of course, was totally in. "I got the vodka!" she shouted. To even more enthusiastic cheering.

Everyone poured shots, they clinked with each person, and down their respective hatches they went. I declined mine and just smiled, still on the sidelines. As the night progressed more group shots were taken, the music got louder and faster paced, and everyone had a great time. At 11, Stephanie came up to me "Hey babe, I need to go make a beer run, we are dry!" She slurred, laughing at her own joke.

"Are you sure you can drive?"

"Yeah don't even worry I haven't had that much to drink I'm good!" she puts two thumbs up and grins from cheek to cheek. "I really don't know, why don't I go? I haven't had anything to drink."

"No, no, no, you gotta stay back and watch all these crazy hooligans, you being sober is perfect for that." she smiles again and pats me on the back.

"Okay be safe, I love you so much."

"I love you too!"

We kissed and she left.

I turned back to the party, missing her already.

The next 30 minutes went so slow; I kept checking my phone in case Stephanie called, but nothing.

After 45 minutes, I started to worry.

To be Continued